Top 2’s Day (Ep. 1): Black History Month
I like a good list. More specifically, a good countdown. Top 40 TRL Moments. Top 10 Dumbest Criminals. Top 100 Greatest One Hit Wonders of the 90’s. It’s always a round number, I’ve noticed, ending in either a zero or a five, with the exception being Top 3. Top 3 Favorite Movies (Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind, A Clockwork Orange, Pulp Fiction). Top 3 Favorite Books (Slaughterhouse Five, Moby Dick, Green Eggs and Ham).
It’s time for a change I feel like. Given the short attention span we have as a generation raised by MTV, I propose a new sort of list, one that bestows even greater prestige to any fortunate enough to make the cut:
THE TOP TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Since it’s black history month, my first Top 2 countdown will be…..
TOP 2 GREATEST BLACK AMERICANS.
NUMBER 2: GEORGE WASHINGTON CARVER
The man credited with the invention of peanut butter gets my vote as the Number 2 Greatest Black American. My childhood is filled with afternoons, coming home from school, spreading peanut butter over toasted pan de sal. He was born into slavery and grew to become one of the most influential scientists and inventors in American History. Time Magazine called him the Black Leonardo, after Leonardo da Vinci not the Ninja Turtle, but might as well be Leonardo the Ninja Turtle, actually Donatello would be more fitting. At any rate, he’s badass. Damn Skippy!
We are now nearing the end of our countdown… but who is the greatest Black American????????
NUMBER 1: MORGAN FREEMAN
He played God TWICE! And the majestic, omniscient quality of his voice has made him one of the most prolific narrators in history. He’s so badass he detests the idea of there being a “Black History” month and was quoted saying there isn’t a “White History” month so why should there be a black history month? He contends that Black History should be considered American History, and separating the two only hinders our effort to be one human race. God, you are right, and because of that, you are the NUMBER ONE GREATEST BLACK AMERICAN OF ALL TIME.
There were so many close calls: Martin Luther King, Jr., Rosa Parks, Eddie Murphy, Whoopi Goldberg, Ahmed Johnson, Michael Jackson, Michael Jordan, Oprah Winfrey, Tupac, Booker T. Washington, Booker T. But in the Top 2 Countdown only two can stand supreme: the inventor of peanut butter and God.
