SCHOOLYARD!
Might as well call me Daniel Boone, because me, the M-I-S-T-E-R to the E, Dirty Pop Kev and SpiderMark Sherwin are official pioneers of a brand new drinking game. It’s Manifest Destiny bitches! Step right up kiddies, it’s time to play “Schoolyard.”
We were sitting around contemplating a fresh, new way to spend our lovely Friday evening, the goal being to find a creative way to get thoroughly intoxicated. Beer Pong and Kings were simply out of the question, the former being the customary weekend activity and a prolific cause of noise complaints, and the latter disqualified due to the recency of our last game and its widespread popularity.
To aid us in our quest, Kevin turned to the source of all wisdom: Wikipedia. He discovered an interesting game creatively entitled “Game.” The game isn’t a huge departure from Kings, the difference being the use of dice rather than cards, and the absence of a King Cup. The dice added a whole new element, altering probabilities and introducing the interesting possiblity of rolling doubles. There was another interesting stipulation: the dice must remain in a playing field or you take the amount of swigs shown on the die and roll again. “Game” did have its share of flaws, including its stupid name and its stupid set of rules (e.g. roll a seven, truth or dare; roll a six, secret), but most of all, the game had no end!
Using “Game” as the foundation of our creation, we developed a game far more intense and far more entertaining. We bring you “Schoolyard.”
The Name:
The name was the first thing to go. I orginally thought of the name just to serve as the prototype. Anything but “Game.” It just made sense at the time. We were talking about school for some reason, and the act of keeping the dice within a designated area is reminscent of other schoolyard games like Marbles and… Marbles. Anyway Schoolyard just popped up and the name stuck due to our failure to think up a better one. (Other attempts include “Double Trouble”, “Boneyard”, and “Roll the Dice and then Follow the Rules on the Paper and then Drink Until You’re the Last Man Standing and then You Win”)
The Game
Keep in mind throughout the entire game you must roll the dice within the playing field. Should any dice roll out of the playing field, take the amount of swigs shown on the die. To prevent shenanigans, your hand must also remain out of the playing field or your roll is DQ’d. What do you do when you’re DQ’d? DRINK.
Snake Eyes: Take a shot muthafucka!!! NO CHASER!
Three: Three’s Company (Social)
Four: Category game
Five: Staring Contest (I’m undefeated thank you) Challenge any player.
Six: Downward Spiral (My personal favorite) Roll the die again and spin that many times
Seven: TLC (Don’t go chasing WATERFALLS)
Eight: Pick-A-Mate… Roll again and drink that many swigs with any player
Nine: Rhyme Game
Ten: Gnellips- Borrowed from Cranium, whoever rolled the ten must pick a word no longer than ten letters. The other players must spell the word backwards in clockwise succession. Whoever fucks it up drinks. If the entire word is spelled successfully, the roller drinks.
Eleven: Distribution… No breathing! Roll again and distribute that many drinks amongst the other players
Twelve: Make a rule.
The End
A couple aspects of the game mentioned earlier were the interesting concept of rolling doubles and the absence of a conclusion. Combining both elements of Game and Kings, Schoolyard adds the new element of elimination. Each player has their own “King Cup.” If you roll a double, you have the opportunity of pouring your beer into another player’s King Cup. Starting from the player on your left, count the number shown on the die. Whichever player you stop on is the victim that gets a pour. If the count lands on you, pour into any player’s cup of your choice. Once you get two pours in your cup, you’re eliminated. Drink your nasty king cup and say good night. To spice up the game, start each King Cup with a shot to make the punishment nice and potent. Last man standing wins.
Addendum
Of course the game still has its flaws. After all it’s still a newborn baby and has yet to blossom into a classic for the ages. I want to somehow implement a DUNCE rule to go along with the Schoolyard theme. The ending needs a little tweaking but at least there’s an ending. The objective of the evening was to come up with something new and memorable, and ultimately to get fucked up. We succeeded with Schoolyard.
